courage

i sat in class while d director taught... well spoke wud b a better way to say it... he sed things which were amusin... also sumtyms unheard of.... n most of d tyms insulting.... bt unfortunately... d ppl wid d big big egos also don stand a chance in front of dis guy... he's jus too much for ppl to handle...

during d first class.... i actually thot it wud b fun.. bt nw i feel he's right.... he's been paid nt to teach.. or lecture... or even b d director... he's paid to show us d path.... he does not realise... he is showin d path on a no moon day..... wid no street lights...

i admire his knowledge... im proud to knw dat such an amazingly experienced faculty is teaching us... bt im ashamed of myself n my colleagues dat we cant stand upto him in class... its nt dta i wanna pick a fight wid him.... its jus dat... if u want to learn sumthin frm me... u hv to b open to discussions... sum sort of interaction... sumthin... n for a fact no1 will stand upto him even if dey hav a very intellectual doubt.... coz wen a person has a doubt... silly or intellectual... it always seems to be inconsequential....

its nt jus abt d class as a forum for discussion... its abt... jumpin to conclusions.... i don understand... hw such an old man can do soo much jumpin.... i mean... so much exercise... nt very gud at dis age... i mean... cant he jus ask in a manner dat every faculty asks... he says he's a faculty wen in class... n only outside a director... so wen in class cant he stop feelin like d director... can he make a mov from his side to make us feel comfortable while atleast communicatin wid him in class..... i don ask for too much... i don wanna bcum his buddy n give him a five wen i see him in corridors... i jus want to loose d fear....

n guess wt... my fear is such dat while i type dis... in d bak of my head im thinkin.. wt if... he gets a hold of dis blog... or wt if.... d other faculty members see it... n talk abt it to everyone.... im even thinkin of selectin d whole thing n pressin d delete button....

but i wont....

coz dis d only place whr im nt judged.. n wteva i do... is coz i wanna do it...

i here i really wanna post dis feelin of absolutely no courage wid a lil courage!!

bak 2 normal

finallyy.... thins luk like dey r gonna b bak to normal...

y??

dats coz mum's bak.... bak hme... its nt like im relieved.... its jus dat im delighted dat shez bak.... it gud to see her.... its gud to knw dat i can hav a variety of options for tiffin... dinner... :P

jokes apart.... dis tym... i did really miss her... it was unlike me... i usually... like to stay alone n all of dat.... bt dis tym it was different.... i wantd her for all d right reasons... majorly.. coz i was alone at hme... i cant live wid too many ppl at hme... bt i cant live widout mum at hme...

apart frm all dis..... i also gt a lil tym on hand to think.. n den re think.... wt im doin... n y i am doin certain things.... n so i hv taken up a resolution frm nw on... for a change....

firstly.... promised mum dat i wud make d mornin tea... everyday.... :)

den... decided dat i'll do all sorts of readin wrk in d bus... n durin free tym in coll....

apart frm dat... wanna do sumthin frm wt i learn.... n for dis... i hv thot dat d idea dat d twins n i came up wid... well its tym it saw sum ink... im gonna put it on paper... probably it'll b a lil different.. a lil weird... bt garunteed.. it'll b a lot of funnn!! :)

i want to hav fun.... if der is no tym for fun outside....well im all ready for it in coll.....

i wanna cum bak to normal wid a difference!!

nw dats wt i call - its different!!

yet again

here i am, waiting for you to come

come, come and sweep me off my feet

here i am, waiting for you to come

come, come and make my dreams come true

here i am, waiting for you to come

come, come and make me feel alive

here i am, waiting for you to come

come, come and take me in your arms

here i am, and here you are

you've come, but i stand on my own two feet

here i am, and here you are

you've come, and my dreams are still a dream

here i am, and here you are

you've come, and i still feel dead

here i am, and here you are

you've come, with someone else in your arms

here i am, waiting for someone else to come by.....

yet again

yet again, i have made that mistake. a mistake that repeatedly repeats itself.

well, i have done it again... i made sure mom was out of town, leaving me "almost" alone at home. i really thought i wud have lots of fun... crazy fun but unfortunately i have done nothing that is even close to fun....

all i have done is.... be in college from 9 - 6, for which i leave home at 7 and reach back at 9. i mean ther is no time left for fun... though the real fun happens late only (i dont mean anything dirty) i mean party - simple plain fun with my girls and all dat has happnd is me watching white collar on star world (though i did enjoy it)

comin to my girls... well dey jus make me detest guys and relationships. the other day dey were "supposed" to b together but dat wasnt d case really... dey were wid der ahem ahem ... i mean i jus hate it... its nt dat i don gt it... but its jus dat its time that im actually free (in a way) and even though they have time, they jus use it all up for being "together"

as for friends in coll.... im nt sure dey r really havin any time in hand.. n also doubt dat dey r open to d idea of a sleepover...

man.... i think im only gonna b seen partying wid either family or all by myself amongst strangers this weekend....

till later...